Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.